So I'm about 6 months into trying to sell my manufacturing business. The deal stuff is stressful but manageable. What's killing me is the 'friendly' requests. Old college buddy wants me to invest in his restaurant. Cousin wants a 'small loan' for a down payment. Another friend asked if I can 'hold off' on collecting an old debt because he's going through a rough patch. I feel like a walking ATM and I hate it. How do you shut this down without torching relationships? I'm not trying to be Scrooge but the numbers don't lie.
Boundaries
Keeping your financial boundaries solid with old friends and relatives
Simple phrase: "I've got my hands full with the sale right now, can't do it." Never give a number because then they negotiate. Just be a broken record. They'll get the hint.
I sold my plumbing company two years ago. The requests didn't stop, they got worse cuz everyone assumed I was sitting on a pile of cash. What worked for me was blaming the process. "Sorry, all my liquidity is tied up in the sale/escrow, can't touch it." It's vague enough that they can't argue with it.
Tell your cousi you'll loan him the money but the interest rate is 18% and you need his car as collateral. See how fast he backs off.
The old debt one is tricky. Is it a written agreement? If it's informal, you might just have to eat it if you want to keep the peace. But if it's formal, a gentle "Hey, I'm trying to close my books for the sale, can we settle this?" is fair.
Honestly, most people awking for money from someone selling a business know exactly what they're doing. They see dollar signs. You don't owe anyone an explanation. "No" is a complete sentence.
Yeah, I think I'm overcomplicating it. The escrow excuse is actually perfect for a couple of these. And you're right about not giving a number. That's where I've been going wrong—trying to soften the blow with details.
My uncle did this when he sold his hardware store. He literally printed a little card that said "I am not a bank" and handed it to people. Hilarious but effective.
The restaurant investment is the easiest one to kill. Just say "I don't invest in restaurants, I don't know the industry." No one can argue with that.
I'm gonna push back a little. If your college buddy is a real friend and this is a one-time ask, maybe hear hear him out? Saying no is fine but just stonewalling everyone might make you the guy who "changed" after the sale.
@TempestInATeapot i get that sentiment, but OP is trying to close a major financial event. Hearing people out invites them to try and convince you. It's exhausting. Boundaries aren't a character flaw.
Just tell them you lost it all on a terrible crypto bet. Then they'll feel bad for you instead of asking for money. Problem solved.
The crypto thing is tempting lol. But I'm not a good liar. I think I'll stick to the "assets are locked up" line. It's technically true and doesn't require acting skills.
The cousin asking for for a down payment is wild. That's not a small ask. That's tens of thousands of dollars. I'd just say "I can't help with that" and change the subject.
OP, something to keep in mind: the people who get angry when you say no are the ones who were only there for the money anyway. The real friends will understand.
Also, don't forget you can always say you have a financial advisor who handles your money and "advised against it." Throw someone else under the bus. Works like a charm.