I ran a small retail shop for just over two years, and the last six months were brutal. Sales were down, I was working seven days a week, and I couldn't sleep because I kept running numbers in my head. The worst part was feeling like I couldn't tell anyone how bad it was, my family thought I was fine, my friends thought I was "living the dream." I eventually started seeing a counselor, which helped more than I expected. I'm not sure I have a neat answer, but I wanted to put this out there because I know how isolating it can feel.
Burnout
How I dealt with the mental burnout of running a struggling shop for two years
The isolation is the part nobody talks about. When I was winding down my plumbing supply business, I'd avoid calls from my brother because I didn't want to lie about how things were going. How long did you wait before seeing the counselor?
About four months after I should have. I kept telling myself it was a money problem, not a head problem. Once the money problems didn't go away, I realized the head part needed its own fix.
I didn't have a shop, but I ran a food truck for a year and a half and I recognize that Sunday night dread you describe. For me the thing that helped was picking one day a week where I did zero business thinking. Not even opening the mail. It felt irresponsible at first. It was the only thing that kept me from breaking down.
Did the counselor help with the practical side at all, or mostly just the emotional piece? I'm asking because my partner is in a similar spot and I don't know if I should be pushing for therapy or for a business advisor.
Mostly emotional, honestly. She wasn't a business person. But that was what I needed—I'd been treating every feeling like a spreadsheet error. My accountant was the one who eventually helped me see the books claearly enough to decide whether to keep going.
Two separate jobs. One doesn't replace thhe other. I'd say both, if you can afford it.
I'm about eight months into a struggling shop right now, and this thread is the first thing that's made me feel less crazy. I haven't told anyone about the insomnia. The part about your family thinking you're fine really landed. I don't have advice, just wanted to say I'm reading.
BasilAndDust, tell one person. Doesn't have to be family. It can be a stranger on a forum, apparently. But say the actual words to someone who can hear you.